Back in July 2019, I asked Working Mums in what areas they want to get some Lifestyle Lifts. The most popular response from working mums (33%) was;
More Free Time - 'Me Time'
So, in August 2019, I published a five-week series on how working mums can get more free time. This article pulls together all five Lifestyle Lifts.
Do Not Disturb Time
Do Not Disturb time makes way for you to do whatever you want without any interruptions. It's works just like if you were staying in a hotel. First decide on how much alone time you want, what you would like to do and how often.
Next find your sacred place for exclusive use. Then ask your loved ones to agree to give you uninterrupted time at your chosen location. Include the exact dates, times and the duration of alone time you want. Then work with your family to make it happen.
If you are a single mum, tap into your friends and working mum community and ask them for help to give you DND time. Good friends are always willing to help their pals thrive. Try to make your DND time at least an hour so you can really benefit and get stuck into something you love doing. Pre-plan your DND time and what you are going to do. This way you can jump right in and you will have something tangible to really look forward to.
Social Media Detox
Think about it. How much time do you spend on social media a day? According to social.com we spend almost two hours/day on it. The Mothers Institute also reports working mums use it the most [92%]. Not surprising when the average person in the UK is signed up to seven social media accounts; not to mention the time needed to monitor your kids’ social media activity. Somehow, two hours seems like it could be much, much bigger. Even when seven out of ten of us say we should spend less time on social media - we don't because 56% of us have a FOMO [ fear of missing out] on social media activity.
What’s the worst that can happen if we take the odd say off social media?
I’m sitting here, pondering this question and I really can't think of anything that bad. Can you?
Having recently joined Facebook and Instagram this year [Yes, one of my first messages was welcome to the 21st Century messages], I quickly understand how it can take over your life - it’s addictive - Dopamine Fix Central. I love it for keeping in touch with friends and family - it does make you feel more connected.
The thing is, we all have other shit to take care of outside of social media and one of those important things is self-care.
What I love about social media is that we can all pick up from where we left off. Just like our favourite TV Soaps, it's not hard to pick up the thread and get quickly up to date.
So, what, if you join the social conversations late? No one expects you to be on standby to post, like, comment or share. The fact that you join in the conversation at all will always be appreciated. So, let's ask ourselves this question;
WHAT MEANS MORE TO ME? Getting some more free time back to myself or keeping my Social Media crown?
If you want more free time, give the detox a go.
Make Chores Childs' Play
For mums who are doing the lion's share of the household chores, tip three is get your kids doing the chores. You will start to win free time back for yourself.
Become the ‘Homemaker Coach’ rather than the Housekeeper.
Babies and toddlers love copying adults. My three-year-old niece Katherine is already helping her mum dust. Her little friend Luke plays with a toy vacuum cleaner.
Kids want to do adult things. I remember in my childhood standing on a foot stool so I could wash dishes. My Mum and Dad taught me everything I know about running a household. As a result, this part of my adulthood has been a breeze.
Household jobs can be playtime for kids and in turn make the chores child's play for parents. By delegating household chores, kids also learn valuable life-long skills and parents gain precious time back to themselves. Research also shows that children who do chores become more successful adults.
And if you are having trouble motivating your older kids to get involved, watch these two videos for inspiration. 1.Chores and Choices, 2.The Bonell Family
Home Alone Hang-Outs
Ever seen the film, Home Alone? Where 8 year old Kevin, wakes up to an empty house after wishing his family would disappear.
As a mum you might have similar fleeting thoughts or maybe you fantasize about running away. You’re not alone. According to research by Mums net, 67% of mum’s dream of being alone even on Mother’s Day.
So pre-arrange a regular time to hang out by yourself at home. Send your whole family out to do something whilst you do whatever you want to do. [Single mums ask a close friend to help with childcare].
It's not selfish to want or expect some time to yourself. HA-HOs give you the chance to relax, recharge and just be you - guilt free.
Swap Wishes for Way Finders
If you are still finding it hard to get free time, what's holding you back? Rachel Hersenberg PH. D suggests confusing free time with unstructured time could be the answer.
Unstructured time means we don’t have a plan in place for what we want to get done. Literally hours can go by before we realise it. Channel-hopping, social surfing, binge eating, obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviour are all examples of how we spend our unstructured time. Unstructured time is wasted time. It kind of makes us wish for more free time. So, here's how to get more structure. Shift your energy and stop those free time wishes.
Ask yourself, how much of my time is unstructured? Map it out over a standard week. What situations come up?
Bin these time wasters because they are not serving you. Take back your free time and plan in ways to spend it. This is how you find your way to more free time.
You now have five easy ways to get more ‘me time’.
So go and enjoy every minute of your newfound freedom.
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© Kate Halewood, Rootball Coaching and Consultancy Ltd
